Paris Hilton favors oversized sunglasses.
What do your sunglasses say about you? A lot more than you might think. Whether you're a bogan, fashionista, metro, Louis Vuitton bag toting woman, triathlete or wanna-be, you will be given away by your choice of eye-wear.
The bogan wears black, usually Dirty Dog, wrap-around sunnies. They're often of square shape and have a somewhat intimidating feel about them. There's no way of seeing a bogan's eyes through these pitch black lenses, but if he is talking with a woman you can guarantee his pupils are aimed at her clevage. Men who don these glasses can be spotted in black jeans and rock band (like Iron Maiden) t-shirts, drinking woodstock bourbon and cola and driving 80s Fords or Holdens.
The classic Ray Ban (wayfarer) look is the style of choice for tight jean wearing dudes and chicks called fashionistas. Such individuals wouldn't be caught dead in any other style and would rather have their eyes fried by the sun than wear bogan or metro shades even on the brightest, most glarey, day of the year. There are varying levels of fashionista too. Those in the higher echelon would never think about wearing imitations from the service station or pharmacy and upgrade from Ray Ban to some other high fashion brand in order to make them feel superior. But to achieve the highest fashionista status one must change from all black glasses to ones with a wire rim and turtle-shell frame.
I use the term metro loosely because some would argue fashionistas and metros are one and the same; although anyone in the fashionista category would denounce someone calling them that. Metros are men who wear Dolce and Gabbana, Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent branded glasses. These sunnies are worn by men with t-shirts that are too small, but bought small on purpose to enhance the size of their muscles. Often it is the dress code of new-age footy heads or male hair dressers who wear alligator shoes, ripped Diesel jeans and Ed Hardy t-shirts. These men, although loved by girls, spend more time moisturising and styling their hair than their woman do. Who are these men accompanied by? Louis Vuitton bag toting woman. After all, to have a woman with a small dog in her purse is the ultimate accessory and demands respect.
These girls wear, what I call, face-savers. They are worn by dog-in-bag kinda girls like Pairs Hilton who are over accessorised as it is, but must have sunglasses on for fear of public ridicule if they don't. Worn inside and out, night and day the bag totter never takes her glasses off. She is summed up perfectly in the song by Mike Posner titled Cooler than me. ''You got designers shades just to hide your face and you wear them around like you're cooler than me.'' The wanna-be is somewhere in the middle or all the above groups. Not edgy enough for Ray Ban or muscley enough for metro glasses the wana-be wears aviators or some other pair of cheap novelty glasses. They looked cool being worn by Tom Cruise in Top Gun, but these days their coolness is being degraded. Why? Because they're on the face of guys who wear outrageous costumes to Twenty20 cricket matches.People of all descriptions walk the street wearing sunglasses over summer. Next time you're out and about, have fun categorising.